you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
