Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
