Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize