K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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