I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Moan for me like Helen Keller
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
