Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
