She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
