ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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