You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
