After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
