Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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