Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
