Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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