i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
