And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
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