I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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