when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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