so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
