I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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