Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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