The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i've created a new STD.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
