like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Randomize
