Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
