It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
