Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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