What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
