Already got asked if we're dating
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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