fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
