what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
