About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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