Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
