sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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