Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
