i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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