Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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