So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
