Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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