My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
