just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
