Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
