Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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