i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
