Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
