Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize