I only kidnapped one of them. chill
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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