their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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