Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
