she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
