Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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