Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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