i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I believe in your delicious
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
