then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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