Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize