its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
