You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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