I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
