I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
