my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize