how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
