no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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