I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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