At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
