it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
