You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
