Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
