and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
