I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
