Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
